A blog for the darker side of my mind where I express it in the form of peotry. It's about the human mind and ho it thinks, its fears, dreams and expectations and some philosophies regarding hopelessness, misery, death as well as lust and happiness.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Exile
Always been hard and cold
Now molten and soft I lie.
Not used to speak my emotions
The success, the loss, the pain
Words fail me, however hard I try.
The success opened doors
That force me to sacrifice,
For all that I have lived.
into an unknown land I must go
be it barren, be it paradise
Exiled for two years, it makes me stiff.
Giving up this opportunity
To end this inner strife
Would be submitting to midiocrity.
The pain is only just temporary
I have to pursue my ambitions
I'll bear it all to make my life pretty.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Hah! Science...
Fire, water, earth and air
And nothing more could be there
Said the Greek to the world
And hence science unfurled.
For long their laws remained undefied
Till some said other laws nature did abide
Dalton for one bravely said
Of atoms and molecules all were made.
Probing deeper were seen the electrons
Playing merry-go-round around the nucleons.
Rutherford and Bohr debated the rules
Heisenberg's uncertainty proved them fools.
Murray Gel Mann won the Nobel
His mathematics dug secrets like a shovel
Now he enjoys a lot of perks
For saying all were made of gluons and quarks
Yoichiro Nambu then did say absurd things
Like everything is made of tiny little strings.
This is a small story of science's progress
I say why put your mind to so much stress?
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Fare Thee Well, Sweetest Friend
In verse emotions flow free,
In verse lies remain constricted,
In verse hypocrisy lies slain
In verse beauty is apperciated
And in verse I shall bid thee farewell
Sweetest friend, my friend you will
'Twas not too long we've known eachother
But brilliant has been our time together,
I wish I could turn back time
And relive those moments sublime;
Now our paths lie separate
We will, in time and memory, fade.
Things will never be the same,
But you will be remembered and missed
Boat and Net
Of a single kerosene lamp
In a single room mud hut
Three little boys sit
Around a pot of boiling rice
Being cooked by their sister,
Their eyes filled with hunger.
Closest to the lamp
Sits the eldest boy, studying
A dilapidated second hand book.
He dreams to be a doctor oneday
And help poor people, cure them
Of ailments similar to the one
That claimed his mother's life
A few monthes ago;
But fate knows that he
Will take up the boat
And the net like his
Fisherman father, who lies
In a corner, resting,
After another futile day
On the boat.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Bare notion
A crowd bustles around me
I sit with my hot coffee
Trying to pen down thoughts.
A sip of caffeine sends my
Tongue into a burning numbness.
My pen hovering over the paper
The train of thoughts rushing.
So many ideas arrive
But all devoid of form.
I scratch my head
Another sip, I tap my fingers
Fidget with my pen, roll it around
Scribbling a scetch, scratching it out.
My coffee is turning cold, emptied in a swig
I know what to write yet words fail me.
I thought of poetry about war, peace and
The seas, pirates and their boat
Nothing still came to my mind
So this is all that I wrote.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Distraction
You sit and do nothing.
Why there? Why there?
Makes me sad...that corner.
You distract me
You make me uncomfortable
Go away. Go away.
Why do you keep coming back?
You let go of me then
Now I keep bringing you back
Leave that corner. Leave that corner.
I have work to do.
Friday, April 13, 2007
V.I.Me
People want fame and fortune
People want the limelight
But I want to be such a man
It'll be called an 'assassination'
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Unnamed
They are ready to die
for their country.
They are trained;
They are hardened
beyond the limit of capability.
They are taught to kill;
They are taught to live
with the guilt of murder.
They are taught to shoot
They are taught
to follow orders.
They are honest men;
They are upgraded
weapons of choice.
They never ask questions
They are the powerful people’s
expendable toys.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Beware my birthday
My birthday - the 1st of May
O God help me keep my age at bay,
People grow old, but why me too
Next year I'm gonna be twenty two!
Shit! When did I cross my teens?
I'm growing old, and fast, that's just what it means.
Damn I'm old enough to be the father of one
For that I'd need a woman and I got none.
In a few years my joints will moan and creak
And I'll turn into a wrinkly old freak.
So if you wish me Birthday or want a party
I'll kick your ass and wring your neck smartie.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Predator
Silent and still, almost lifeless.
With unflickering eyes he studies
Examines and infers.
He moves through the plains
Mimicking the tall grass swaying,
A motion so stealthy that he
Travels but moves not.
He lays there still, waiting, watching,
Almost mocking his ward
With hunger rises his determination
And his patience and his will
Waiting, calculating, measuring
Like an artist for perfection.
He is a powerhouse of might
And speed greater than lightening.
The unsuspecting beast grazes on
He lets him enjoy his last meal,
His pride needs him as the strongest
And he needs to appease his pride.
His legs contract, his eyes focussed
Like a bullet from the nozzle he strikes,
Sudden movement alerts the beast
His instincts tell him to run but he's frozen
The beast lies fallen, defeated, dying,
Now reduced to food for the king.
The merciful king eases the beasts pain,
He snaps its jugular to fast takes its life away.
Beggar
Lies at the side of the street
An aluminium bowl by his side
In silence he begs the passers by
He begs not for wealth but for life.
The creature; dirtiest of them all
In the dirtiest of rags he lies
Amputated of limbs and hope
He lies under the blazing summer sun
And the freezing winter nights
He begs for a life.
The creature; understands not economy
Not the inflation that worries the wealthy
The people are blind to him
One in a million stop to give him alms
The smallest denomination in his wallet.
Beauty, suddenly...
Savoring the joy of nature
Sitting under a tree
A dead rotten tree
A heavy old branch breaks
Falls on his head
All beauty fades
Monday, February 12, 2007
Drive
A cool breeze through my hair,
The radio playing sweet country music
that sings of happiness,
A can of chilled beer by my side,
An occasional drag of tobacco into my lungs.
The blue sky, white clouds and a
friendly sun,
The golden harvest all around swaying
in the wind
The yellow lines of the grey road
and occasional milestones whizzing past.
Going at a steady hundred, sitting behind
thewheel of my car, I ponder -
Right now, this is how I always wanted
to be,
Not a care in the world, no responsibilities
But that's being selfish; now I'm nothing but happy.
Life has always been good to me,
got what I needed
gave to myself what I wanted
And found what I never lost.
The hum of my car resonating with my mood,
Not a car, not a soul have I come across
but yet I feel not alone.
I wish this road, this journey never ends.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Thoughts
This world is a tough place
To live in; because you don’t
Get everything that you want.
Somethings are hard to come by.
And the brain rules our body.
Whatever it tells us to do, we do.
The reactions in the brain reflect
On our faces and our body languages.
That makes us what we are and how
People look at us.
That ruins it all.
I wish I could hide everything of that
From the world and not let people know
How we feel or what we are thinking.
I wish everything would be simpler.
I’m not talking about the money matters.
Some people have more of it some people less.
I’m not worried about that part.
People are so complex sometimes.
Everybody have their weaknesses and strengths
When it comes to the mind matters.
Mind over matter is fine, but the other things
That really matter are like incomprehensible.
I wonder why we have brains.
Bacteria and amoebas have it so much
Simpler without brains. They have
So much less to worry about.
What I’m really scared of are people
Who have bigger brains, people who
Think too much and people who think
That they can think more.
Compared to them I’m weak.
We are all slaves to our emotions
And problems that give rise to those emotions.
I wish I could forget things at will.
Somethings one can never forget.
They stick with one till the end of time.
Mainly the more painful thoughts.
I wish I could remember somethings
That I always forget – like the more
Important things that really matter,
The things that govern our lives.
Emotions shouldn’t matter as much
In this material world. They lick, taste,
Chew and they devour the logical self.
Some thoughts make one look so stupid.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Rapture
My sleep breaks sweet and satiated
In the lusty crimson dawn
When the sun hasn’t awaken yet.
I discover sweetness in my lips
And comfort in my eyes
And a freshness in my mind
Is this a high or is this a hangover.
I open my eyes, she lies by my side
Like creepers entwined – our rapturous embrace;
Darker than the night, softer than the breeze
Sweeter than a jasmine's smell, her hair.
It beckons me to touch it, feel it,
Play with it, smell it.
Like mist it passes through my fingers
Her hair like a net over her face.
The serene peacefulness of her sleeping face
Accentuates her beauty into innocence.
The glow that is her skin belittles the dawn.
Her lips, sweet, pink, tender
Drawn in a smile more mysterious than Mona Lisa’s.
Her sleeping eyes and the slightly smudged mascara
Makes her look like a wild flower, and then
Her eyes open slowly, looking at me.
Those eyes, beauty redefined
They talk of unfathomable depths
Black as the night with a
Twinkle like the stars they were.
Then her gaze met mine
She smiled a smile of immeasurable brilliance
Such a smile just for me.
I need nothing more in my life.
Long and lean she lay
Her luscious curves meandering
Like a river of old.
Her tiny almost invisible body hair
Shining in the feeble sunlight
And the droplets of sweat glistening
Like an aura or natural perfection around her.
I move closer, her warmth incubating me.
Our hearts close together now
Beating in harmony, resonating
Pulsating passion ran through our bodies
Her voice a sensuous feminine whisper
She spoke of many things and her laugh
Like the lapping of water of the mountain ravines.
She was warm and passionate inside
And her lips tasted of honey.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Prayer
What are You? Or, Who are You?
Where are You? And, Why are You?
Are You the Omnipresent,
the Omnipotent and
the Omniscient?
Are You the Creator,
The Destroyer or
The Preserver?
So many beliefs, tales and myths
mar my belief, my portrait of You.
Are You truly the God we talk about
in religeon and in faith?
Or are You just the figment or a reflection
of numerous pagan songs?
Did You create The Universe, The Worlds and man?
Or, Are you created by man as a power behind
the natural forces with which he could not compete?
Did he make You, prayed, sacrificed to appease nature?
You are Hope, in the heart of the hopeless;
like sight is to the blind
You are the rekindling passion
that makes man civilized
You are the faith that keep one going
against all odds to keep up the fight
You are the pace that essentiates
motion of all kinds.
You are in all minds and
in all conciosness, making all human.
And so I pray, be with me always,
make me human, let me not stray.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Failure
I had once looked down a cliff
to the rugged rocky bottom
The vertigo overpowering me, preventing me
to take a step closer to the edge.
I have looked upon speeding cars
as messengers of death, but
My muscles restrain me, control me,
like a puppet I cross the road.
Now here I sit in my room, alone,
spent, ostracized, my mind clear.
I sit with my wrist bare
and in my other hand a blade,
I draw the blade closer, mentally
marking the spot, touching, but not pressing;
I think...of all that has been and all
that is not in my memory left -
My life has been a chain of frustrated events
interlinked by my failures.
Failed I have in everything, and failed
I have myself, my pride, my life.
I like to think myself the reason
to all my failures, makes me feel
Braver to open up my wrist
slowly, painfully; I will not cry.
I think...with no family to leave behind
there is no one who would cry
My absence from the world unnoticed,
I would fade away in time.
Too much thought flows
too much time wasted
Are there any last wishes? I ask
Yes. To end the punishment of existence.
I grimace, grip harder
the moment of truth
My muscles restrain like steel chains
some force overpowers my determination.
Not a drop of blood flows
no pain, and my life slips not away
The unknown force, the force of life
to see each day, day after day
Through the drag and the grime
of worldly displeasures.
I fail even in my last endeavour
I am a complete failure.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
To Newton
Sit in a place and think
give birth to a radical thought,
A thought unborn in other minds
yet so modern others believe not.
How many such thoughts you think in a day?
Or even in a month or year?
I bet you think, "Why think so hard?
Life goes on, my dear."
One man, so great a thinker
We live by his rules and laws
From science and maths, to life and religion
Newton his name was.
Force is mass times acceleration
He said that this is true
That's why all bodies move about
In the fashion they really do.
Light he said is seven colours
And travels in particulate beams
Before he said such a thing
The world was black-n-white it seems.
He said that there is gravity
Obeyed by each and all
That's why the planets revolve and rotate
That's why the apples fall.
He solved the puzzle one by one
A huge jigsaw puzzle I dream
In whatever places he placed the pieces
They joined at the edges and seams.
The greatest man to have ever lived
And greater even, I might say
To write his greatness in glory fullest
Leaves one lost for words, I pray.
A Birthday Wish
This I wrote on a person's birthday because I can't buy birthday cards. Now it's for everybody. Yeah!
The men who are considered wise bless,'Live a long life, my child'
But if he be wise, he ought to know
what a life long lived offers
Live long and you see your body shake
and then break
then your mind shake and break
then your senses shake and break
And then the Earthly temple crumbles.
Live long and you grow wise
Wise enough to learn that in store
lies pain and suffering and misery.
Wise enough to learn that the same
lies in store for beloved ones
and for children, who will live long.
This mortal ain't wise; wont act wise
Neither is I a court jester
But he says, 'Live not too long
but live it well.
Till you know that you are important,
needed and loved,
Till you have done
all that you ever wanted to do
And seen and heard
all that you might ever want to.'
But this mortal pleads you
not to get his message wrong
And he wishes you
Many happy returns of the day.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Paradox
Many hands make light work,
Too many cooks spoil the broth.
So how many many makes too many?
And how many makes for good broth?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Unborn
The seeds combine into one
a new life born, a new conciousness
Conscious of its existence
Conscious of its life
Conscious of bodily pains
The mother's womb a home
that nourishes, protects and loves.
Oblivious to the outside world but
not to love of the mother
blossomed with the new life.
Noncommital, nonconjugal
had been the mother;
Like many other
modern ripened maidens,
In one careless and hasteful moment
had loved into the night,
The man who would've been the father
of her child;
Her unwanted child.
Her damned child.
Unwanted, unneeded, unloved
he lies in her womb
Not knowing, not comprehending
through what fault of his
is he a bastard?
Why should he suffer for the sins
of one whore?
Sacriledge! Blasphemy!
for the offspring of a whore
is unwanted.
Be patient my child,
lie still and wait...
Murdered in the safest place, the womb,
before seeing the Earth born unto.
And what guilded grave for his
soul to rest in peace?
Unwanted, unneeded, unloved
extracted, mangled and impaled
Damn the surgical apparatus held by the hand
expertly seasoned in the same 'art'-
The 'Art' to end the unwanted, unloved,
unborn child.
Sense
This is my second favourite. Read on...
Hark. Listen. And you will hear
what I hear
Close your eyes. Look. And you will see
what I see
Do you hear it? Do you see it?
No, a fleeting glance shall not work
And don’t try to listen as if you are
trying to listen to a private conversation
in secrecy.
See through your mind
And listen through you heart.
I am not telling you to meditate;
More like contemplate, reflect
Be not shallow, be deep
deep as the ocean or the deep space
deep as the depth of the eyes of a
virgin, lovelorn, whose lover
at war hath not sent word
in a long time.
Listen. See.
Can you hear? Can you see?
Listen to the silence the world produces
the silence of stagnation
the silence of indecision
See the darkness of apathy, ignorance
and political diplomacy.
The world is stationary, just as she was
ten years ago,
if not worse, then nothing better.
Listen to the cries of people –
the rich man cries for
riches, fame and fortune.
the poor man cries for
clothes, shelter and food.
the common man cries for
happiness, satisfaction and recognition.
Nobody donate anything, hence
nobody receive anything – stagnation.
O Dream, Hope, Aspiration where are you,
now that they need you?
Can you not hear yet? Can you not see yet?
Rise and awaken from your restless sleep
and listen and hear…
Presense
When I was small and I was alone at home, I had this terrible feeling that there was someone "behind" me, never really got to see who it was, so now I take it for granted that there really wasn't anybody there. The other people are The Conscience and the Dream People and one's reflective form. This talks about the Psychological Self from different viewpoints. (I hope I dont 'sound' deep)
A voice in my head says,
“What are you looking for?”
I say to him, it?
“Not what; who…”
“Who are you looking for?”
He asks me, it?
“One who crosses to the next room
before I can see,
He who stands behind me
disappears when I turn to see
He who is there, waiting, watching
and testing me”
“He who is silent, yet he talks to me
He who, when I’m wrong, chides me
Silently
When I am in the right, pats me
Gently
He who teaches me, trains me
makes a compassionate human of me.”
“When I sleep he comes to me
His face a blur
and in speech a slur
I don’t recognize or hear him, and yet
I know him and I comprehend.”
“In my waking hours, he talks to me
In a language no man understands
but I do, and I think to me,
“Who am I talking to? me?
I share with him, he a better me.”
“He who is a being devoid of form
and of infinite understanding,
He who is full of mercy and patience
a lesser man, a demi-God
He is the voice, you and me.”